The Commonwealth Games - the other side

So the past month of my life has been consumed by the Commonwealth Games which took place from the 23 July to 3 Aug in Glasgow. It really was a once in a lifetime experience and I loved every minute. However, it was also, and surprisingly quite difficult at times too. The reason for this is that about 2/3 years ago making the England team for the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth Games was my main athletics goal. The Commonwealths are known for being the 'friendly' games and are normally easier to get in the team for compared to Worlds and Olympics. So for me they were the next step when I was setting my goals...

Athletics was my no.1, I was a student at the University of Bath and then Loughborough university; had good coaching, facilities and support. I was in a good position to try and achieve qualification. Until England Athletics released their selection policy. Long jump A standard was 6.70m, B was 6.40m. Now I am a realist, I knew that I was not going to improve from 6.10m on average to 6.70m. And usually if there are athletes with A standards no one can go on a B (England had a couple of girls capable of getting the A). So my desire to jump at the Games faded as I did not believe myself capable of meeting the A criteria. And with that my dedication as if I could not achieve Commonwealth qualification what could I achieve? I was never going to be one of those athletes at Loughborough forever hoping to make a team, training full-time with a rubbish job or living off mum and dad. I also struggled with niggles which moved me further away from long jump. So I finished my MSc and got a job as a physiologist!!

I always loved training even if it wasn't able to compete. But when I moved away from Loughborough to Colchester without a coach or decent training environment my motivation all but disappeared. So I went three months at the start of 2013 doing very little training; the least I'd done since 2007 when I started uni. Luckily I changed job and moved to Scotland(!) to work as a physiologist for the sportscotland institute of sport. I quickly found a training group (shout out to Scott Squad) and started to enjoy training and even sometimes long jump again.

Fast forward to 2014, several of my group are realistic Commonwealth Games prospects - qualification is the name of the game. It is starting to hit me that this could have been me... Cue having a strop mid jump session because everyone else is flying and I can't take off. This sort of thing happened a few times in the lead up and culminates in me taking the decision to (probably) leave long jump behind and concentrate on other events (tbc!). I can no longer take jumping less than I did when I was 14 and want to enjoy not dread training.

Anyway so just one of my group qualify for the games, a cruel outcome consider how close some were and the lengths they went to to try. This is another reminder of how brutal high performance sport is, and makes me think maybe I am better off on the other side.

Back to the Games. I started my Games at the Team Scotland Preparation Camp which was at the University of Stirling.  Several sports were in doing their final preparations, and it was beginning to dawn on me how amazing the experience was going to be for the home nation athletes. Some athletes got injured, others were trying to rehab quickly and I was reminded of the stress of the situation. Everyone worked flat out to meet the needs of the sports and athletes, and I was working for athletes instead of being the athlete. Now don't get me wrong, this is what I love to do and do everyday. But in the environment where I'd once hoped to perform as an athlete it was a little bit surreal. No more so than when I went into the athletics preparation camp in Kilmarnock and I was working for my training partners, friends and peers. I was doing videoing for girls I long jumped against a few years back or putting hurdles out for old teammates, preparing ice baths for people I'd grown up with. My colleague asked me how it felt to be 'on the other side' and it wasn't nice. However, it was better to be experiencing it in any capacity than none at all and moreover a significant step in my career; something to be proud of and learn from.

Onto the Village. A crazy bubble town full of all types of athletes and support staff! Each nation has their own area where they live and support their athletes. I worked on Scotland street :) fully decorated up with flags and branding; it looked great and our set up was good. Slowly the street filled up as athletes moved in, final preparation was initially the aim of the game but once the games started it was all business. Again, seeing my friends and peers out and about going to dinner was a challenge. How I wished to be 'one of them' and be truly equal able to go to dining or hop about to different venues to soak up the experience. I however, was on the peripheral there to deliver a service so my experience differed slightly.

Everyone was there to deliver though. My job was to aid preparation and recovery of athletes. Theirs to go out and perform to the best of their ability. As much as I do envy them I also was glad in a way that I was not so exposed as them, much less expectation, far fewer eyes on me than them. This feeling that the athletes were on show and had a huge expectation struck me fully when I went to watch the squash. The show court, literally a glass cube with thousands of seats around it was so intense. Two or four players literally on show. I was so impressed with the ability of the Scottish athletes to deliver and step up on the day! Team Scotland delivered a successful performance and people are heralding the games the 'best ever'.

As it turned out I didn't participate as an athlete like I hoped to 4 years ago. I did however participate and play a part in the games by delivering a service for Team Scotland. And whilst I wasn't out there in the field with my friends, rivals and peers I was so proud of their performances and thoroughly enjoyed supporting them. Glasgow was special. I now look forward to playing a part in many games to come, with the Olympics being the pinnacle. Being on the other side wasn't so bad after all.