Goodbye Bath.
I'm writing this on the bus to the airport and as I go through Bath I realise that for maybe the first time ever I'm looking forward to going home and leaving it. This is a massive statement. Particularly as it's usually the place I feel most at home (more so than actual home; the Isle of Wight) and also what I am aspiring to would eventually mean a move back here for good. 
7 nights here, in the youth hostel!
I've been away for 8 nights and 9 days now in a pressure environment with people that were essentially strangers to me. That's a tough situation for me and not one I am comfortable with hence the readiness to get back to some familiarity. Making new friends and being 'yellow' or social 24/7 is quite difficult for me sometimes; I like to be by myself and relax/reflect. Something writing this blog has really helped me achieve the past week.
Don't get me wrong, the past week; power2podium phase 4 off ice camp has been excellent. It has been relentless and exciting and challenging. A few more words to describe it: exhilarating, FUN, tiring, new, nostalgic, hard work, inspirational. I have made new (and true) friends, especially the 217 girls and can't wait to see the girls for our ice camp on 20th November. Similarly I am gutted that I may never see some or all of the boys again depending on selections as we are on separate ice camps.
Yesterday, day 7 was a chilled end to the camp. We had a yoga/stretching session to help our sore bodies and then a lunch with any parents who'd come up for a 'parents' talk. Mine didn't so I was a Billy no mates and needed to be adopted!
Now that the camp is finished it's time to reflect and prepare for the ice in Lillehammer. A lot of the past week was about preparation for Lillehammer so I need to go through all my notes and work out what needs to be bought/organised/thought about. While there is a lot of practicalities to consider e.g. Taking warm and suitable clothes and packing snacks there is also a lot of mental prep that I hadn't originally considered. For example, what strategies am I going to use to switch off and relax when the sliding is done for the day, or how might I need to prepare for my first slide. How am I going to cope living in small confines with 3 others who are my competition? What do I need to know about myself in order to cope in that environment? Lots to think about you see.
Also I need to plan for both eventualities post camp. A - I get selected and need 6 weeks off work between Jan and March, how will I manage that financially? Or B - I don't get selected and life will return to normal and go on. How will I manage my disappointment over Christmas and everyone's else's sympathy?
Whatever happens I have put myself out there and I am now vulnerable - something I hate to be. But taking risks is part of life and therefore is a necessitie to avoid getting stuck in a slump. So far so good I think. I made good progress in my push starts (especially on the last day) and am physically strong and my stability is improving. I am heading back to Edinburgh to train for 4 weeks as a bobskeleton athlete. No more long reps which might help me run a 200/400 next year. Aspirations have changed and I am going to 100% committ to being what I need to be to make a good slider. Otherwise I can't say I've given it everything when the selection is made.
So gym, protein, sleds, sprints, prowler, muscle, power, strength, confidence, belief, and lastly ice. Here I come.
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