I guess it depends on who's opinion you ask.
I often say that I don't feel like an adult. And maybe because I perceive an 'adult' as another level of maturity from my current self or simply I think you must be boring if you're an adult. But let's look at the facts. I have lived away from home for 8 years now - 6 at university and 2 working. I have a full-time permanent job which I am very proud of. Moreover it is a career, not simply a job that pays the bills. I even have a company car. I cook and wash for myself, generally look after myself and am independant. That's pretty adult.
But when I go home I sometimes feel like I am still considered a child. Does anyone else get this? I can also act like a child too. But this year it hit me. There is no reason why, for example, that I expect someone to prepare and cook the Christmas dinner. But at the same time my family feel obliged and moreover, pressured into providing a wonderful Christmas Day for me and whichever other siblings are home.
I don't get this sort of impression from friends back home either. I feel like their relationship with their parents is on an even level. So what's the difference? Why do I feel and act like a child and they do not. When in fact I've lived by myself for longer than all of them, most of whom have never lived more than 10 min away from their family. I live 500 miles away from mine.
Two reasons. 1 - I just alluded to, the distance. It is an occasion when I come home. And that is my own fault for visiting so infrequently. And 2 - I'm single. I don't bring a man home or have to split my time between families. So whilst ALL of my friends have significant partners and mostly also children I am still the same as when I was 20, 21 whatever. I think not having a ring on my finger, mortgage to pay is the single biggest factor as to why sometimes I do not perceive myself as adult and am not always treated accordingly. And this isn't a moan, I actually have a negative association with the word 'adult'. It sounds so boring and implies responsibilty. Things I do not want.
I was repeatedly asked all Christmas about men, boyfriends, marriage, grandchildren etc. Yes I would like a boyfriend but I am in no rush to be married and am still anti-children. So why are people judging me on that aspect and not the fact the I have the best career out of the majority of people I grew up with, live in a fantastic city and have a vibrant life? I feel like this is an issue for a lot of women in their 20's!! Success and happiness can be achieved in so many ways. Yes, for some people getting married means they are successful. Or having a baby. Well done to those people. I'd use a different word. Settled.
It is no longer a women's only job to care for a man and produce heirs!! Hello, this isn't Game of Thrones!! As well as being able to bear children and look after men, women can have a career, travel the world, date, flirt, wear what they like, be ambitious, play sport, challenge men and more! So why go for the first guy you fall in love with? How likely is it that the guy you've met who lives 20 min away from you is your "soulmate" or your "one"???? Why not spread your wings, explore? Live life outside your comfort zone before you become comfortable. That's my motto anyway.
So whilst it would be nice to 'do Christmas' as a married, house owner next year it's not going to happen. I probably won't be bringing anyone home to meet the parents either! Life just isn't going to go that way for me in 2015! And that's ok with me. Next year everyone is invited for Christmas and I'll cook solo!! I reckon we can just about fit in my flat. And maybe I'll start calling myself an adult for 2015.
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