To Tinder or Not?

So I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to publish these thoughts. I was (am?) a little ashamed to be using Tinder (since the start of March) and didn’t necessarily want to admit it widely. But realising I am potentially getting carried away with how many people actually read this blog and a chat with my cousin has led to this being composed now on the train back from Sheffield. 

The said chat went like this..

Chris (cousin, aged 28) upon explaining how he met his current girlfriend to his dad: “ Cous (that’s me), are you on Tinder?”

I panicked and went “No” in an offended sort of manner.

Chris: “I am. It’s how I met [new girlfriends name]”.

Me: “Ok, I lied. I am” and that was that. We proceeded to then explain and demonstrate to his dad how Tinder worked - hilarious!

** Hold up what is Tinder? (I expect my mum is reading this, insert monkey covering face emoticon)…

So for your benefit mum Tinder is a dating app where you have pictures of yourself, set what type of person you want to meet (age, gender, proximity to you) and get the appropriate pictures to swipe left (means no) or swipe right (means yes) on. It is pretty superficial. If you like a picture of someone that likes you it is a ‘match’ and you can chat on the messenger page. You can also ‘unmatch’ people who you haven’t spoken to/haven’t spoken to you or you are no longer interested in.

In Chris’s opinion, every single 20 something Londoner is on Tinder. So what is there to be ashamed of? For me, it is a failure to meet someone ‘normally’. Well what is normal? The internet and apps are pretty damn normal these days. I’ve also moved a lot so I find that my circles are small and familiar. Not places to meet new potential boyfriends! I, like so many others am also busy! I work in the day, train in the evening and at weekends I have friends and family to see. That doesn’t leave a huge opportunity to do other things which would lead to meeting new people. I am also less likely to meet people ‘out out’ as I try to not party and drink too much (stop laughing people that know me).

I’d also heard the stories about Tinder – not to mention know people who use it that were not say what I was looking for. Safe to say I set my age and location limits carefully (also bearing in mind my new year’s reso of 24 years old plus only). But so far I have to say it has not lived up to its somewhat unsavoury name! I have chatted to guys in similar positions to myself; busy and not managing to meet people in the conventional manner.

I also discovered an alternative use to the app. I read an article about ‘tinder travellers’ which is when travellers (solo or groups) use Tinder to source a local tour guide or companion (or hook up if you’re being a cynic)! What a great idea! I then came across a guy who’d put his location to Edinburgh but lived in Dublin and asked why he’d been on my Tinder what with my 50 km limit. It turned out this was what he was doing. He asked for recommendations of places to go, had good chat and seemed harmless. I’d totally do this if I were travelling (being careful of course) – there’s definitely something to be said for a local tour guide.

Anyway it was all going well. Chat was moving towards dates and it was a laugh. My housemate and I would go on my Tinder and he’d try to guess which way I would swipe etc. He wasn’t very impressed and said I was easy to guess because I go for obvious attractive people! Well sorry! And then I got unmatched. To use a phrase I am a fan of I was abruptly furious! Don’t get me wrong, I’d unmatched people too (double standards – tell me something I don’t know) but this guy had been chatting with me and seemed pretty friendly and interested. And then I looked back and realised I’d probably been a little rude, abrupt and insensitive (all traits of mine I am afraid)… so I totally deserved it and may be just a little bit nicer in future. Being unmatched was not the best feeling even if it doesn’t actually mean much in reality.

So there you go. I am in the dating albeit Tinder, dating game. For my next blog… ‘My first Tinder date’ *insert crying with laughter emoticon*.