Mourning Bestival 2014

I LOVE a festival and about this time every year I'm usually chatting everyone's ears off about BESTIVAL which takes place on the Isle of Wight (where I grew up) the first weekend of September. However, this year I am NOT GOING. Booooooo!! 

So in order to make myself feel better I thought I'd compile a list of my top 10 festival moments to remind myself of the good times :)

My 10 best festival moments (not in order)

1. Bestival 2013. Campsite singsong. When else is it appropriate to sing songs loudly (and badly) when no one else is. We thought we were the next big thing. 

2. IOW festival 2008. Finger puppets and gazebo. With a group of school friends and just after our first year away at Uni. Reunited. 

3. Bestival 2008(?). The muddy one. Cage against the elephant coming within 2cm of my face during the muddiest set ever and the conga in the mud. Robin hill took years to recover from that year.

4. Bestival 2013. Disclosure. Nuff said. Can't remember most of it, but it was unreal and far far superior to Fat Boy Slim's main stage headline set. 

5. IOW Festival 2008. Realising I enjoyed hip hop watching NERD! And Pharrell ;) pre Happy. 

6. Bestival 2006(?). Bestival-bumblebee fancy dress and none of us making it to the evening!! We were loving the catwalk though. My second ever Bestival and all of us from school went in! Monday morning was not a good time for us. 

7. Bestival 2012. The emotions of Emile Sande with Harriet! And Florence :) our 'treat' after a horrid summer. I'd not even finished my dissertation which was due the following week. Friday was a massive blow out!

Struggling the next day with some penguins.

8. Bestival 2011. Introducing my little brother to Solace then seeing him on a 'date' there two years later!! He was about 11/12 at the time :) such a good sister I took him for free tea and cake. Everyone should make the trip to Solace. Worth the climb. 

9. Bestival 2012. Jaguar skills in onesies with my brother and sister. What is now a 'siblings assemble' tradition. We've missed Samantha the past few though! 

10. IOW festival 2013. The Killers. Awesomeness. Unbelievable set, I peaked way too early due to sinking a bottle of wine pre 12pm but managed to make it to the end. 

And my top festival moment of 2014.... 

Fan girling throughout the whole of Fallout Boy at IOW!! Took me back to school days ... dance dance is a classic. 

So that's me. No Bestival this year so I'm missing clean bandit, disclosure, outkast, Annie Mac presents, Chic and just about everyone else that is awesome! Well now I just feel worse. If you're going enjoy it, and have a gin for me

X

A TimeHop Blog

So TimeHop has got me thinking…. What have I been doing that has got me to today? It’s a great way to remember and reflect on where you were and what you did before the current day and seeing as I have made some big changes the past year or so I thought I’d take a look back…

This time last year

The thing that sticks out is the 2013 Scottish Senior Championships which I spectated at. Despite my coach wanting me to compete in the long jump I did not enter because I didn’t feel in myself that I was ready having only started training again in May. My training partner; Sarah now one of my best friends won her first Scottish title and jumped a second Commonwealth Games qualification standard. It really made me want to be competitive again; I decided I would not be sat spectating the following year. True to my word I competed last weekend in the 2014 Scottish Senior Championships; but not in the long jump. Injury troubles and lack of specific training again meant I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for jumping – so I did the 200/400m double! No mean feat as I found out but 2 400m PB’s certainly helped! Sarah won the long jump again – undisputed Scottish no.1 this year and whilst it was weird not going into call with her I think that I made the right decision to race not jump.

This time last month

One day until the start of the Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games! I was working in the Scottish Athletics preparation camp at Kilmarnock and the general chat revolves around the outfit/ceremony for the Opening ceremony which is the following day. I am there to provide physiology support to the athletes; mainly recovery. Sounds technical – actually means ice baths which means a wheelie bin! The job is so glamorous. On the plus side I am getting to enjoy the sunshine that has come from nowhere; Kilmarnock feels like Portugal! I am also able to spend some time with my best friend Jayne who is a Scottish high jumper but lives in Loughborough. Sarah is there too and we do a short sprints session; her last before she competes in Glasgow having been pre-selected after her Scottish title in 2013. July was a big learning experience; the preparation camps, the village, the games. It is important for me to reflect and learn from them so that the next time I get the opportunity I can bring these experiences with me. I think what I learnt from the preparation camps is to be flexible and appreciate that governing body staff, athletes and coaches are under immense pressure and stress (even if they don’t think they are). You go to do a job for the athletes; the thanks come later.

This time last week

I was in the lab, doing a VO2 max and Hbmass test with an athlete. Some pre-season baseline measures which we will retest several times throughout the coming year to assess progress. Pretty routine but I still get a ‘testing high’ after a good test which this one was. I have been in my current job for almost 9 months now; and am just getting to grips with it! It has been 18 months since I moved to Scotland to work as an exercise physiologist and it is nothing that I thought it would be – but so much more and I learn everyday. Later on I find out that I am through to the fourth and final phase of Power2Podium a British Bobskeleton talent ID search! Cue a lot of jumping (still a long jumper at heart clearly) around the house by myself as no one was in! My coach Anne brings me back down to earth, texting ‘go to sleep you have a 400m to run tomorrow!!’ She is right, the 2014 Scottish Senior Championships are taking place over the next two days. A midnight bedtime but earlier than the previous night so I take it!

This time yesterday

I was super excited because I had tickets for Hot Dub Time Machine – billed as the Best. Party. Ever. and a sell-out Edinburgh Fringe show in 2013!! I went at Christmas and that review is no exaggeration! First though the Edinburgh Dungeons and some ice skating to be done because I am an Edinburgh tourist with my Dad and two youngest brothers; Luke and Bradley who are visiting me this week. The Dungeons are scary – even for a 25 year old! I was holding onto Bradley’s hand for dear life and jumped out of my skin several times! Having family visiting is great; I can get so far removed from their lives when they are far away and I miss out on a lot of what’s happening. With my brothers being young (11 and 15) I am literally missing them growing up as I have been away now for 7 years. I also want to inspire them and be a good role model showing them that they can go after their dreams (when they work out what they are). I think it is so important that they see beyond the Isle of Wight where there is no University and not too much ambition (?!? Sorry - not trying to offend!). They have loved the Fringe and Edinburgh so I guess it’ll be my fault if one day they look at Edinburgh University or a job up here! At least they have the Murray name – helps you fit in!

Today

Firstly, no hangover! Result! But I think what looking back over the past year shows is that I fit a lot in! I love having a busy and varied life – my friends, family, sport and job are very important to me and all add so much value. As much as I miss my family I am doing the right thing being away and luckily already have a great support network up here – I truly believe you should always go after what you want. I also know I am very determined to not give up on sport! I may not have gotten back to that 6m mark in the long jump but I am so pleased to have had a competitive 2014; credit to my coaches, training group and friends who believe in me when I do not. Bring on 2015 – I get to represent my Island – the Isle of Wight at the Island Games which are being held in Jersey! In which events is another matter…

(I'm the one on the right). 

Never be satisfied.

#power2podium

I have developed this ambition to become a bob skeleton athlete or slider if you know the lingo (I'm trying!). I have been aware of the sport since I watched Amy Williams win Olympic gold in Vancouver in 2010 when I was doing my placement at the university of baths high performance center. There was a lot of interest as that is where Amy lived and trained. So I shed a little tear (I always cry when people get medals) and thought how amazing winning a gold medal was but had no desire to try that myself despite knowing Amy had come from an athletics background.

2014: Sochi Olympics.

I was more aware of this Olympics because I was now working in high performance sport in Scotland where we have a good reputation for curling in particular. So the whole office were pretty into Sochi. I'd heard a bit about Lizzy Yarnold through the media so I knew she had a decent chance based on her form and previous races. I also knew that she was a product of Girls4Gold a talent ID drive that I'd also done and made the initial skeleton tests but gotten no further. Then she won gold. The second consecutive British woman to win a skeleton medal. They know what they are doing down in Bath. In all the post games media I came across power2podium; the newest British skeleton talent ID drive and remembered thinking I could have a shot at that.

So encouraged by my then boyfriend (now ex) I applied and went to phase 1. I LOVED phase one!! It was all speed and power testing and really favoured my strengths coming from a long jump background. Onto phase 2.... And Bath. Probably my favourite city in the UK. Fewer girls but they were all athletic and physically not dissimilar to me. How do you stand out against that? What are the skeleton team looking for? No one provided these answers so time to just get on with it. The best part was the push track; a 50-60m downhill track with a sled on runners and a bungee that let you practice the push start away from ice. Pretty daunting!! However it was a lot of fun and no one wanted to leave. The challenge was running with one arm and bent over (sounds obvious) but it is really weird and hard to coordinate and keep balanced. Anyway practice we did and we all improved and got faster with no major incidents (cause it is pretty dangerous if you mess it up).

Post phase 2 ice bath because I had an athletics comp the next day!

Next up a nervous wait to hear about phase 3... I got through. I was more relieved and pleased than I expected so a sign that I was beginning to really want this. Despite all the chat that you're away from home 6 months of the year, become a human pin ball, live in cramped conditions, are broke for the most part I am relishing the chance to be a full time athlete. It won't happen for me in athletics, money is hard to come by there. This is the opportunity.

Yesterday and today was phase 3. It really feels make or break now, no one wants to get rejected at this stage cause phase 4 is ice time baby!! It feels really close and I have committed time and money to this cause now so I'll be gutted if I don't make it.

We had a lot of things to do over the past two days. We did two push start sessions on the track, an eye test, team building activity, psychology assessment, sled workshop and performance lifestyle. I was loving all the sport science :) With all that on the table it is hard to guess what will make or break it for any one athlete. I suspect it is the push track. Which is a shame because I didn't feel I performed to the best of my ability in today's session. Whilst a lot of girls stepped up I felt that I regressed, having a few dodgy runs (wrecking my spikes in the process). Luckily I ended on two good runs however I'm wishing that they had been my first runs so I could have built on them. But hey ho what can I do now but wait? I believe in myself as an athlete and want to test myself further in this sport, particularly on the ice. So the waits begins. I'll update in two weeks time...for now it's back to the tartan track!

The Commonwealth Games - the other side

So the past month of my life has been consumed by the Commonwealth Games which took place from the 23 July to 3 Aug in Glasgow. It really was a once in a lifetime experience and I loved every minute. However, it was also, and surprisingly quite difficult at times too. The reason for this is that about 2/3 years ago making the England team for the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth Games was my main athletics goal. The Commonwealths are known for being the 'friendly' games and are normally easier to get in the team for compared to Worlds and Olympics. So for me they were the next step when I was setting my goals...

Athletics was my no.1, I was a student at the University of Bath and then Loughborough university; had good coaching, facilities and support. I was in a good position to try and achieve qualification. Until England Athletics released their selection policy. Long jump A standard was 6.70m, B was 6.40m. Now I am a realist, I knew that I was not going to improve from 6.10m on average to 6.70m. And usually if there are athletes with A standards no one can go on a B (England had a couple of girls capable of getting the A). So my desire to jump at the Games faded as I did not believe myself capable of meeting the A criteria. And with that my dedication as if I could not achieve Commonwealth qualification what could I achieve? I was never going to be one of those athletes at Loughborough forever hoping to make a team, training full-time with a rubbish job or living off mum and dad. I also struggled with niggles which moved me further away from long jump. So I finished my MSc and got a job as a physiologist!!

I always loved training even if it wasn't able to compete. But when I moved away from Loughborough to Colchester without a coach or decent training environment my motivation all but disappeared. So I went three months at the start of 2013 doing very little training; the least I'd done since 2007 when I started uni. Luckily I changed job and moved to Scotland(!) to work as a physiologist for the sportscotland institute of sport. I quickly found a training group (shout out to Scott Squad) and started to enjoy training and even sometimes long jump again.

Fast forward to 2014, several of my group are realistic Commonwealth Games prospects - qualification is the name of the game. It is starting to hit me that this could have been me... Cue having a strop mid jump session because everyone else is flying and I can't take off. This sort of thing happened a few times in the lead up and culminates in me taking the decision to (probably) leave long jump behind and concentrate on other events (tbc!). I can no longer take jumping less than I did when I was 14 and want to enjoy not dread training.

Anyway so just one of my group qualify for the games, a cruel outcome consider how close some were and the lengths they went to to try. This is another reminder of how brutal high performance sport is, and makes me think maybe I am better off on the other side.

Back to the Games. I started my Games at the Team Scotland Preparation Camp which was at the University of Stirling.  Several sports were in doing their final preparations, and it was beginning to dawn on me how amazing the experience was going to be for the home nation athletes. Some athletes got injured, others were trying to rehab quickly and I was reminded of the stress of the situation. Everyone worked flat out to meet the needs of the sports and athletes, and I was working for athletes instead of being the athlete. Now don't get me wrong, this is what I love to do and do everyday. But in the environment where I'd once hoped to perform as an athlete it was a little bit surreal. No more so than when I went into the athletics preparation camp in Kilmarnock and I was working for my training partners, friends and peers. I was doing videoing for girls I long jumped against a few years back or putting hurdles out for old teammates, preparing ice baths for people I'd grown up with. My colleague asked me how it felt to be 'on the other side' and it wasn't nice. However, it was better to be experiencing it in any capacity than none at all and moreover a significant step in my career; something to be proud of and learn from.

Onto the Village. A crazy bubble town full of all types of athletes and support staff! Each nation has their own area where they live and support their athletes. I worked on Scotland street :) fully decorated up with flags and branding; it looked great and our set up was good. Slowly the street filled up as athletes moved in, final preparation was initially the aim of the game but once the games started it was all business. Again, seeing my friends and peers out and about going to dinner was a challenge. How I wished to be 'one of them' and be truly equal able to go to dining or hop about to different venues to soak up the experience. I however, was on the peripheral there to deliver a service so my experience differed slightly.

Everyone was there to deliver though. My job was to aid preparation and recovery of athletes. Theirs to go out and perform to the best of their ability. As much as I do envy them I also was glad in a way that I was not so exposed as them, much less expectation, far fewer eyes on me than them. This feeling that the athletes were on show and had a huge expectation struck me fully when I went to watch the squash. The show court, literally a glass cube with thousands of seats around it was so intense. Two or four players literally on show. I was so impressed with the ability of the Scottish athletes to deliver and step up on the day! Team Scotland delivered a successful performance and people are heralding the games the 'best ever'.

As it turned out I didn't participate as an athlete like I hoped to 4 years ago. I did however participate and play a part in the games by delivering a service for Team Scotland. And whilst I wasn't out there in the field with my friends, rivals and peers I was so proud of their performances and thoroughly enjoyed supporting them. Glasgow was special. I now look forward to playing a part in many games to come, with the Olympics being the pinnacle. Being on the other side wasn't so bad after all.