Don't Be So Hard On Yourself

Yes I know it is Monday! I haven't hit my head! Brogan showed us this yesterday and it is pretty apt for everyone here! Apologies this is a day late than the promised Sunday (or did I say weekend) blog! You see the week did not go to plan and was if I am honest very disappointing.

After hitting my ankle on Tuesday and having to take a few days off to let the swelling and pain subside I was back to training Friday. I was pretty excited to be back training with the group and generally happy that I'd not missed too many slides. You see the key to my development is time on ice. Every slide matters as you can only really practise by doing at full throttle. Tricky when you're injured or dare I say injury prone.

So rewind to Friday. Run1. Smashed the other ankle out of 13 (the same corner). F***! Trying to maintain a positive outlook however I can acknowledge that other aspects and focus areas were improved. For example my form was better and I got my steers on in key areas. But I am sliding with flailing ankles which with my bony, sticky out ankles is a recipe for disaster and rather painful too. Once again I became a one slide Sally :( hardly helping to build my time on ice.

Unfortunately my left ankle is the one I sprained badly in Winterberg last February so is easily traumatised. As a result the discomfort in my foot and ankle got worse over Friday and the weekend, rather than better. It also looked like I was smuggling a golf ball beneath my skin :(

As a result I have missed training today (Monday). My third missed session in six sessions. So I thought I'd leave the blog writing for today to keep myself occupied. I've had good news today though; Gareth our soft tissue therapist gave a really positive assessment and as long as my ankle keeps progressing I'll be back on ice on Wednesday.

So whilst everyone else has been sliding and gymming doing the usual I have been putting recovery top of my priorities today. I've upgraded my ice water immersion to salty warm water immersion which is a treat! Although my hands are constantly salty now! The salt is supposed to help with the inflammation and hydration and was kindly donated by the kitchen here where we are staying :) As well as sitting with my foot in a bin of warm, salty water I had some soft tissue treatment which was uncomfortable but necessary and spent some time on my sled visualising and practising keeping my feet together! There has been some chat of tying my ankles together so that I can't flail them about when I slide!

It has been tempting this past week to be really frustrated and hard on myself because like I said the week has been super disappointing. This week has basically been what I had dreaded happening. Not getting the hang of it (sliding) at all and as a result hurting myself which then means I have to lose training days so that injuries can recover. Despite crashing, hurting myself and feeling like I haven't 'got it' all I want to do is get on my sled and slide, day in, day out. I am super jealous of my teammates who have completed all 15 slides of last week compared to my 5. When you repeat a skill with that level of regularity it becomes your norm. For me, sliding still evokes nerves and worry at times. This will naturally disappear as I get back on the sled. So I channelled my inner Jess Glynne and made my mantra 'don't be so hard on yourself'. Yes, it was my fault I got hurt but I am doing my best to learn from it and do what I can now to try prevent it happening again on Wednesday and going forwards.

Looking forward being back here Wednesday!

The last time I was on ice was February, and it was a totally different style of track. Lillehammer is aggressive and high pressure track, it is quite a contender. Having not even made many descents from the top during my first (and only) camp here every slide from the top is a challenge and a step towards becoming more comfortable and competent at this track. So bearing all this in mind, having done only five slides I cannot really beat myself up too much; it is counterproductive.

So, it has not been a dream start for me. However, for some of the group it has been a really positive start to the season which is encouraging for me! Unfortunately, we will be losing another of our team tomorrow :( Ellie had a bad crash and although she is okay in the grand scheme of things she is heading home to get some R+R and medical support to get her back on her feet. So we are down from a 9 to 7. Fingers crossed for a better week this week; I can't wait to slide Wednesday :)

p.s Happy one year 'Facebook' anniversary to my BFF and twine Madelaine Smith!!

L plates

Day 2. Hospital visit. 

This is not what I'd envisioned my first few days back sliding being like. In terms of ability I'd reckoned on having green P plates maybe. After my first four slides I'm firmly back with my L plates. 

I knew Lillehammer was going to be a challenge. I knew that because I hadn't gone from the top many times previously (due to missing a camp in March 2015) I'd be playing catch up. I expected to find the speed fast, and my awareness be not where it should be. But now it's actually happening it's RUBBISH. 

My first slide was overwhelming in pressure and speed. I crashed in my second but held on in the third. Not an excellent first day but the crash didn't hurt and I'd not had high expectations. After video analysis I was reasonably confident that tomorrow (today) I could sort it out. Big thing was just to relax and breathe (easy at 110-115 kph right?) and even ease off some steers. 

I'm currently sat with my foot in the sink which is full of cold water. So clearly I didn't manage to relax and breathe. Instead I clattered my right ankle out of the 13th corner at 115 kph :( I'm not going to lie it HURT! That ended the session for me as I couldn't walk let alone run and it wasn't worth risking me hitting it again. 

Anyway a hospital visit (they remembered me from February!) later, confirmed that there was no fracture so I was on my way with instructions to RICE. Hence the foot in cold water situation I'm currently in. But it's all part of the sport, bumps and bruises are unavoidable when you're travelling at those speeds down an icy slide!

I'm having a day off tomorrow then we will see. But the swelling has gone down so I'm hopeful I can get back on and sort it out! For now, it's nothing some fancy chocolates and Pitch Perfect can't fix.

Time to slide: What's in my bag?

After a successful week of pushing on ice in Sigulda it is time for the real thing! Sigulda was great because it gave us the chance to get used to the ice in less stressful environment and the chance to practise our routines. It also put our bodies through their paces and hopefully prepared them somewhat for sliding. Safe to say there were some very sore days. 

We left Sigulda for Lillehammer on Friday and have spent the weekend preparing to slide. But what does that mean? First up, unpack the two vans that our coaches drove here. Get all the sleds and tools out, not to mention our baggage! I have 40 kg of luggage and we have one wardrobe between us in our cabin! 

Next up sled work... not one of my favourite aspects of skeleton last year but now I know a little bit more about skeleton and the sleds I actually enjoyed getting my sled checked and fitted so that it is ready to go. After lunch we went on a track walk. This is when the fact that I am going to slide soon hit home. Information overload describes it best! Feeling a little stressed and scared I swiftly got the kettle on when we got home.

Today, however is better. I have spent time working through the track in my head and on my sled. We have been to the track to watch some Luge athletes training to get an idea of the speeds and have gotten everything ready for tomorrow. I feel much better prepared and somewhat calmer. The idea is that once this blog is finished I can switch off from skeleton for the rest of the evening; aided most ably by X factor!

All set for a practise run!

I've decided I am going to try and blog at least once a week; on a Sunday. It is our day off so I can get a blog written guilt free and share the weeks goings on/gossip/stories/dramas. So up first.. what is in my sliding bag for tomorrow...

Helmet and Spikes! Can't slide without these!

Race suit and note book for post slide notes!

Yoga mat and tubigrip. This is how I pad my bony bits!

Tools to set my 'rock' - the bow in the runners. I am still a little bit obsessed with my new tool bag :)

Down bag clothes! It is cold at the bottom! Bobble hat optional :)

Snacks! Not optional. Yes they are sweets in the lunch box!

Can't forget the sled!! C'mon no.6!!!

So there you are. We don't travel light. But it all makes for a more comfortable and successful training session.

See you on the other side ;)

Change

As I sit on the train to Ashford to meet my teammates Ellie and Brogan to start our first full season as a skeleton athlete I am wondering how, in less than 12 months, my life has turned upside down. 

It didn't happen by accident. I've gone from a content exercise physiologist living in Edinburgh doing some athletics to an athlete on arguably, one of the most successful talent programmes in the worlds aiming for the Olympics in 7 years. Along the way, at every step I've had to make decisions, weigh up options and consider what I want out of life. And it's led me here. Tomorrow I'll be on a plane to Riga, Latvia for a ice push camp. From there I'll go to Lillehammer, Norway for a further three weeks sliding. Basically from now until March I will be a full time athlete travelling the world. From April I'll be a centralised British skeleton athlete living in Bath. Commitment, big time. 

Change will happen to all of us many times throughout our lifestyle. But I thought I'd try to address, using my recent experience how best to cope and thrive from change. 

Don't let an opportunity pass you by
When I first applied for power2podium I didn't have the faintest idea that I would end up where I have i.e a successful applicant. Nor did I worry what if?  The opportunity presented itself and I grabbed it. Simple. Don't miss out because you've ummed and ahhed over whether or not to take a chance and put your neck on the line. Deal with the how later. 

Have no fear of rejection 
The power2podium process was like X factor. No joke. I'm watching X factor now and every week it serves to remind me of how much I wanted to make the next phase of testing. And how deselection would be crushing. Don't be afraid of failure. Fear of rejection should never stop you going for something. Every attempt is an opportunity for feedback and improvement. And you might even be successful! 

Bite the bullet 
There will come a point where you have to commit to something you may not have envisioned committing to. You may have to put this first and something else second. This is the scary part. For me, prior to going out on ice for the first time I had a lot of doubt as to whether or not skeleton could/would be for me. But instead of shying away from the decision I sought advice from professionals and people I trusted. They helped me to realise that yes I wanted the journey and the experience wherever it took me. I would not be happy living out a 9-5 job but wanted adventure and something exciting and extraordinary. So talk to people, it helps saying things out loud and having friends agree and vocalise support. 

Prepare
Do understand the challenge ahead and identify any potential speed bumps that might try to trip you up and allow the self doubt back in. I knew that relaxation and down time would be vital for me to stay sane when away. However relaxing is not one of my strengths. So I found people to advise me, box ticked. Be honest with people regarding expected outcomes or requirements that you may require. I've always been very upfront with work for example about when I needed time off and how this might shape my future. Basically prepare so that you're in control of this challenge where possible. 

Give it 100%
When push comes to shove and there's nothing left but to do whatever it is you want to do give it 100%. 
This is where I maybe could learn from past experiences. For almost 12 months I split my energies between my work and skeleton. Obviously financial elements were influential here but I know I didn't give either interests 100%. Now I am taking a career break I am confident that I can move better than last year and maximise the year to expose (hopefully) my potential. So whatever it is you want to change; your training regime, your nutrition, your job, your hobby, how you take meetings give it EVERYTHING. Because then you know you tried your best. And that is truly all anyone can do. 

Support network is key
There will be times when whatever your trying to achieve isn't going to plan. Take a deep breathe, put the chair/laptop/phone/mug down (throwing it out the window won't help!) and call someone that can help or take your mind off it. Knowing who to call for different things is really useful. Last year when things were difficult I got on FaceTime and chatted to friends or family. I always felt better for it and was in a better place to go and try again. For example I called friends when I needed to just get away and chat. But I called my dad when I needed some support and motivation. It can also be useful to let people know that you might be calling them in a time of need. That way if they get a call or text they'll know it's important and will (hopefully) prioritise. I also find that you really need to have people apart from yourself that 100% believe in you. As the saying goes, haters gunna hate. So let them. Ensure your network are people that believe in you and want you to succeed. For me, my boyfriend, family, friends and work colleagues all believe that I can take on this challenge and succeed in skeleton. Many of them do not have any solid reason to believe in me; they have never seen me slide, don't know what makes a great slider. But they know me and their support gives me a lot of confidence. 

Perspective
In all likelihood whatever you're trying to do is not going to achieve world peace. If you're having a bad day and are hating on life just remember in the big old grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. Yes it is important to you but by putting your goal in perspective it helps to keep you grounded and balanced. Don't be afraid to take a day off to recharge. I took a weekend off to go and recharge at bestival and I honestly don't think I'd have coped the past few weeks if I hadn't done that. Yes there's some rush and urgency but try not to just become this one change. 

Feel the fear and do it anyway
This is one of my favourite cheesy inspirational quotes that gets thrown around on Instagram... I guess people can see why for me it is particularly relevant. Skeleton is scary. Anyone that says they've never been scared is lying. But making any change can be scary. I like to think that my life will always move forwards, I can't stand the idea of settling or stagnating. Staying in my comfort zone will not get me places I want to go so yes I will be scared at times. I will definitely have nerves in a week when I am at the top of the track in Lillehammer about to take my first run of the season. But it won't stop me putting my helmet on, sled down and pushing off. 

So go on, make that change.     

🌟Feel the fear any do it anyway🌟